Though I’ve spent my adult life north of the Mason-Dixon line, my Crimson Tide credentials are pretty solid: I was born in Tuscaloosa, my grandfather was a professor there, my great-uncle coached the baseball team for many years, and my mother and my sister Katie, as well as various cousins, uncles and aunts are alums. With that background, I was enraged by this blasphemy:
Riots broke out across the University of Alabama campus and the state itself today following reports that the M Zone’s Danish affiliate – Den M Distrikt – posted cartoons showing former University of Alabama football Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant wearing an Auburn hat and another showing him drawn into the infamously cheesy “Dogs Playing Poker” painting. The cartoons were first published way back after the 2000 season. But officials speculate they were not noticed at the time because Crimson Tide fans were too busy trying to figure out how the hell to get rid of Mike DuBose before he ruined their program.
In Alabama and other parts of the south, images or caricatures of “Bear” Bryant that depict the legendary coach as anything but a deity on par with God Almighty are considered blasphemous and highly offensive to Crimson Tide fans, akin to saying, “I don’t get what the big deal is with NASCAR.”
The site that reported this shocking story also republished the infidel images, provoking the University’s Sigma Chi chapter to issue a fatwa against it and the other perpetrators of this assault on Alabaman values.
I join my fellow Sigs in denouncing this deplorable abuse of Free Speech and demand that the State of Alabama both execute those responsible for this hate crime and enact laws to prevent any repetition.
Roll, Tide!
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