Did you know that Jack Abramoff, currently awaiting sentencing for an array of crooked political and business dealings, wrote and produced a motion picture? Oh, you saw Red Scorpion? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. It grossed $40 million – respectable for 1989 – so somebody saw it, and readers of this blog likely fall into the target demographic.
Okay, did you know that Abramoff at one time wanted to put out a book on “The Making of Red Scorpion”? Unless you’ve already read the brand new issue of The Weekly Standard, I doubt it. He went so far as to interview a potential ghostwriter, Mark Hemingway, who recounts the experience in “My Dinner With Jack”.
There was, it seems, quite a story behind what looked like a routine action-adventure flick. The idea for a movie depicting the alliance of a disillusioned Soviet agent and an idealistic African anti-communist to thwart a Red takeover of the latter’s country came to Abramoff during a rather weird international conference of right-wing guerilla groups held in Jamba, Angola, then controlled by Jonas Savimbi’s Union for the Total Independence of Angola. Following up after his college graduation, he signed Dolph Lundgren to star, raised a few million dollars, lost that financing when Swaziland revoked permission to film, then found a few million more and succeeded in completing the picture in less than peaceful Southwest Africa (now Namibia).
They had star trouble. Lundgren was wildly erratic on the set. Abramoff and the other producers felt physically intimidated by the onetime karate champ. Lundgren spent his downtime carousing up a storm in Johannesburg, and he did not want his girlfriend back home to find out. It became the producers’ responsibility to keep him out of the South African tabloids. (For bonus points, Abramoff casually let it drop that the girl back home whose delicate sensibilities Lundgren sought to protect was none other than Paula Barbieri, the Playboy Playmate who moved on to dating O.J. Simpson, only to break up with him the day Nicole Brown was murdered.)
Then there was the problem of the film’s other star – the authentic African bushman they had cast in a pivotal role. In Jack’s opinion, he’s the best actor in the film. Most people who’ve seen the film agree. Regopstaan, the very spry 95-year-old bushman, agreed to do the film only if his entourage, er, tribe was allowed to follow him around. Then there was the small matter of payment. Regopstaan’s terms included the condition that the producers find him a wife. By this point in my evening with Abramoff, I was expending all my energy keeping my jaw off the floor, so I never did hear how that particular problem was solved. But I trust Jack found a way.
Presumably. We’ll probably never know what it was, for Abramoff decided soon afterward that he was too busy to proceed with the book project. On the other hand, “he’s going to have a lot of time on his hands in prison, and,” Hemingway ends hopefully, “I hope he still has my résumé”.
There is, in a way, a sad side to this tale. Red Scorpion made a substantial profit, which Abramoff used to capitalize his nascent lobbying firm. If the film had failed, he might be laboring at Heritage or AEI or Cato, still be the energetic idealist who impressed so many conservative leaders back in the 80’s. Alternatively, if he had been greedy then, he would have doubled down on another movie. After a few projects, he would either have blown his wad or become settled in the business. Maybe he would have been at this year’s Oscar ceremony, laughing at the anti-Bush jokes.
I must, of course, end any post about the deplorable Mr. Abramoff with my favorite quote concerning his operations, from OpinionJournal Political Diary (only $3.95 a month, delivered daily to your inbox):
“Jack as a Republican would often direct contributions to Republicans because he liked them, they were friends or he agreed with their positions that had nothing to do with his clients,” says one Abramoff friend. “But if Jack steered campaign cash to a Democrat you can bet that he wanted something in return for it.”
So far, Abramoff has been found guilty only of cheating his clients and business associates. Whether he bought favors from legislators is still up in the air, so it may be that the Democrats who benefited from contributions that he directed their way (such as Harry Reid) are innocent victims of guilt by association. We shall no doubt find out eventually. Meanwhile, Abramoff the movie mogul is a fascinating image. I do hope that he still has Mark Hemingway’s résumé on file.
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